Hello Feminism

I am a feminist. It is not a dirty word. It is actually something I am proud of. And something I certainly identify with. But holy hell it can be a loaded term that seems to cause a whole lot of scrutiny for almost every other decision that I make in my life. Let’s just take a step back for a second shall me? The definition of feminism is ‘the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.’ Okay still confused? Feminism at its core is simply talking about a belief in gender equality. Beyond that, it a bunch of deviations… off shoots if you will. Things that people have taken and established generally solve specific inequalities within different facets of a convoluted and complex environment that we call home. But when you simply break it down it honestly is not more complicated that holding a belief that equality between genders should exist.

Now that the 101 is over, there was a point to my initial statement. I promise.


But, you know I am not going to get to it right away. There is some more storytelling here first. Brace yourselves. You know that saying, you know the one. About iron sharpening itself or something? [Are you nodding? I hope so] Now I want to be clear here, I am not one of those people that live their life strictly by the sayings that appear on motivational posters. But that one resonates with me, I mean I do however tend to consciously make the decision to gravitate to likeminded people and avoid the dickheads. In my case, this means that there tends to be strong, ambitious and kick ass babe women in my life. My social media feeds are full of feminist conversations, strong intelligent statements about politics and social justice. Sometimes I don’t agree. Sometimes I shake my head and think, wow how can we be friends? But most the time I am like Hell yeah you babe you tell the world what is up. Most of the time there is an underlying message of quality between genders. [Notice I didn’t say between the two genders... because you know, fluidity. More on that in another post I think!]

A really big part of gender equality is giving women the right to be able to make their own choices. Irrespective of whether you [an individual, group, idea or otherwise] agree with her decision. You know, the same way we give men the choice, without even really thinking about it. Identifying as a feminist doesn’t mean that you have to adhere to rules. Ladies, there isn’t a ‘how to be a good feminist’ handbook. And if there is, the first rule should be through that sucker out. A feminist can be whatever they wants to be, and it really is not up to anyone to tell anyone that they are doing feminism wrong.

However, sometimes I find myself in a position that leaves me feeling on the outside of all of that. And therein lies the problem, and the point of this here blog post. As a feminist I want an equal playing field and the option to make a choice about any circumstance that may be put before me. I want the choice to change my last name if I choose to get married, the choice to work my way up the corporate ladder and have a child at the same time and not be shamed for making either decision. I want the choice to let a man pay for my dinner and the choice to do my hair and make-up whatever way I want and take as many selfies as I may choose. I want to choose to remove or keep whatever body hair I feel like and I want to be able to make the choice to sit on the couch and watch an episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians without my feminist identity being called into question.

So, I am going to talk about some of these choices. I’m going to write about how some of my decisions that I have made me feel on the outside of the feminist circle, and really why they shouldn’t have at all, and I might even write a little bit about my feminist perspective, because you know, I can. And while I am saying whatever I feel like [which let’s face it, is all the time] I am sorry to break it to you internet, but there really should be no such thing as a bad feminist, and if you call yourself one, you really shouldn’t be trying to poke holes in other people. Its rude, and I am kind of ticklish.